been there and done that

I have been there and done that!  That’s pretty much what any military wife will say when you talk about your feelings of a deployment.

It really use to crack me up when spouses would say “oh he’s been on so military deployments, that I just go on with it, I am so used to it”  All I have to say is… blah, blah… whatever.  What are you saying you are used to it? 

This is my story… my husband and I married back in 1994, this was just a couple of years into his carrier, he had been on 1 deployment and had just returned from a tour in Korea for a year when we married just 3 days later (he never came home on mid tour).  We were immediately sent to North Dakota to live, where the deployments started almost immediately, we were there for 7 years, then sent to Alaska for another 6 years and let me say… the deployments did not slow down at all.

Back inthe 90’s deployments were not as frequent as they are right now.  My husband did a lot of volunteering… not that I liked this.  Actually he told me that he did not volunteer, but later on I found out that almost all of them were.  I am sure at this point people will be steaming at me writing this.  Now since 2001 the deployments are very often, and no need to worry for someone volunteering, because you just have no choice.

What I don’t understand is why it is always thought of the enlisted person deploying, and their life being disrupted.  You have all hit the nail, right on the head.  It truly is not just the one that leaves who goes through the emotional toll, it is also the rest of us here, left in the real world that suffers also.  We are the ones missing the big chunk out of our life.  I personally don’t think that it is any harder for a spouse or significant other  than it is a person with a child to deal with a deployment.  I used to hate it when people would say…”just be thankful you don’t have children and it is just you, you can’t imagine how hard it is”  Again.. let me say 14 deployments…. only 2 of them with children… no it is not easier to deal with the emotional toll with or without children… it’s just different.

So, yes I would also say that I have been there and done that to many things that others say and do when it comes to their deployment feelings, and the way they handle it.  However, I am always up for a talk and an ear if you need one…

where’s the teeth?

Schyler has been really slow at getting her teeth in.  Not that I am complaining at all.  As long as they eventually come in!!  She is now 16 months old and has had 2 teeth on the bottom until this wkend.  Her top front one, and the one to the side of it, both cut through.  Then you skip the other front tooth, and the one to the side of it cut through.  3 teeth in one wkend!!  It was exciting but at the same time it only seems to bother her at night when she wants to sleep.

I have been very lucky with my children and their cutting teeth.  They are not  the typical kids that get the fever, or messy bottoms! 

There is no sign that the other front tooth is coming in.  I don’t even remember with the other kids when the mouth was full of teeth.  I know that they didn’t start till they were right at 1… but for her, her teeth are coming!!  It is funny watching her, mess with them.  She is basically rubbing them with her finger as if she can remove them!

on my mind

I have been thinking a lot about Schyler’s birth the past few days.  Not just about her birth really, but about the journey of life… what makes us who we are… what family is about…

I think maybe it all goes together, of course it does or we would have none of it.  My friend is leaving on the road today.  It is her time to PCS.  This is the first time that I have had a female friend who was actually the enlisted person.  I have known her for the 3 years we have been stationed here in Vegas.  However I did not become a real friend with her until the wk that Schyler was born. 

Have you ever been scared into reality?  I was on the Monday before Schyler.  I went to the hospital for a blood pressure check like I was doing every couple of  days, and they sent me up to the labor and delivery, like they did every couple of days when I failed the check.  This time was different my blood pressure was 219 over 117, and they could not get it to go down.  Doctors flying in the room, and nurses in and out, next thing I know I have a mag drip (magnesium drip) coming out of my arm, they are taking blood, they are all running around knowing exactly what to do, however I did not know what the freak show was all about.  The one nurse comes in and puts pillows around me, and tilts me back then the bumper pads came out and pillows gone.  I jokingly say “hey, you afraid I’m going to bang my head off the rails or what?”  She just looked at me confused and said yes and moved on.  Dr. came back in and told me that they were shipping me out to another hospital, that I need to try to call my husband to meet me there, that they were taking the baby as soon as I get into the door.

I called Sean and told him, then I called Phyllis because she works at the hospital on base, I just really needed someone with me.  I didn’t know what was going on, and I knew from having 2 previous pre-term babies that this was not going to be pleasant.  She came up immediately, and stayed with me until the ambulance came to take me away.  Do you know that this woman who barely knew me, that really was just an acquaintance, called her husband (who is military also) had him leave work, rush to my house clear across town, take my kids to someone elses house so that Sean could get to the hospital?  Phyllis was at the hospital before the ambulance got there.. guess she is a true speed demon.  Sean arrived shortly after.  They were both there when the high risk doctor came to the room with all his fancy machines and ultra sounds, and told us that the baby was not yet 4 lbs and they wanted to not take the baby yet, they wanted to try to wait a few days if possible.

Anyways this is how the friendship became what it is… maybe a lot better than a friendship, more like a family.  It’s amazing how life being at its darkest and scariest that you can still develop such a deep bond.

During this time I became close to another person that I had been talking with.  This girl, I had talked to on the phone many times, but only met like 3 times in person.  Her husband deployed with mine, and even though I was in Ohio at the time, I still talked with her regularly.  Since we have been here I try to make sure all of the spouses get things done that they need, I try to get things arranged so that deployments are a little less complicated.  We all know that things never go smoothly when you are handling all the roles in the household by yourself.  So, her and I had spoken, but not really about anything personal.  She showed up that first night at the hospital after Sean and Phyllis left.  She and another girl came in about 10:30 at night, and stayed till after 1, just so that I would not be alone.  She prayed with me… she brought me a chart with prayers and verses on it.  More than that… she brought me comfort… I really think that God sent her that night, so that I would have Peace….

So.. on my mind the past few days… I have really had time to think about the bond of a friendship.  To me… many of the people I have met along this military life, they have become my family.  I mean no disrespect to my blood family… It’s this thing, where these people just, don’t care if they know you, they don’t care if you don’t ask for the help, they don’t care what they have to stop or what they need to achieve… they just drop everything without hesitation to make sure you are taken care of.. they are your military family.

These are just 2 examples in my more recent life, of how a family relationship evolved.  Do you have a story that you would like to share with me?  I would love to have a good cry… I seem to be really emotional… no worries… I am loving it!

This is what has been on my mind.. and I know that these relationships will always be!

a little different day, great journey

Today was a little different day than those of my past.  I had received a phone call from a friend in Alaska a couple of wks ago that said that she was coming today, just for a couple of hours.  I was thrilled!  Off the wall completely thrilled!  So I put in the calendar along with everything else for the day!

9 am basketball   1:45 Sean golf   3pm birthday party    sometime April coming

So this past wk, with my sister-in-law in town was a fantastic visit.  I went with them to the Mystere show at Treasure Island, and one night they watched the kids so that Sean and I could go to a movie together.  How nice was that?  Their vacation and I get to go to the movies with my husband!!  Then they left on thursday, when people leave it is always hard for me, because I never  know when I will get to see them again.  (This is surely something that everyone knows about that left their home town!)

This morning my phone rang at 6:07 am, my thoughts other than…  my alarm clock shouldn’t go off this early… was… emergency?  No one calls me this early in the morning.  Yes, it was my friend April from Alaska!  I was dead asleep, this was the first good nights sleep I got in the past month or so.  I was so out of it, that I told her we had Taekwondo at 8:30, when it was really basketball at 9.  So we made plans to have breakfast when I was… pretty much sleeping through my mumbling…

My alarm clock then went off at 6:50, good thing I fell back to sleep, because that extra little sleep was the best!  We got up, got everyone ready, did the basketball game, dropped Sean back off at the house, and drove out to see April, her now 3 boys, and new hubby!  I was so excited that I almost felt like I needed to drive 200 mph!!  Luckily my car don’t go that fast!

I got there ( you need to know that I am not a touchy feely kind of person, not with people other than my kids and husband).  I gave her the biggest hug… it was like my heart had settled.  Just to have a friend near.. I really had not realized, how much a person can touch your heart in such a short amount of time. 

Let me tell you who April was to me, while we were in Alaska.  I worked for an insurance company, and she was one of my policy holders.  I knew that she had started a day care.  My at the time nanny, had just quit on me (not going into the drama right now) and April said that she would help me out, and then I started taking Jaden to her, he was almost 2 when he started with her, he was with her a little over a year.  We developed a close relationship, to where I felt I could talk with her about everything.  We really have not kept great contact since I have moved, in fact I had not talked with her since I had Shyla who is now almost 3, until last year when I found out she had a baby due and that she was married.  Then I talked with her a couple of wks ago when she told me the baby was 5 months and she was due again in August!  Time really flies, but it is great knowing that you have these special people in your lives… that leave this deep imprinted stamp in your heart.  April has lived almost her entire life in Alaska, and I honestly don’t ever expect her to leave there.

We spent today by walking the kids over to MGM where I wanted to share the Lion Habitat with the kids, my kids absolutely love it every time we have been there.  Then we walked back to the MGM and let them go swimming.  Our time was short, but it was fantastic just catching up on the past few years. 

It is amazing when you don’t talk with someone for so long, but you just are able to pick up the pieces where you left off the last time.  I really have been blessed with this life that God and the military have given me.  God has given me this journey, and moving around, when I honestly never would have chosen the places I have lived.  He has given me friends that I never would have met, had this military life not taken me from one side of the US to the next.  We don’t just meet others in the military, we meet people through our civilian jobs too.  And so often the civilians that we meet, don’t really understand what it takes to impact a life like ours.  I am a person that takes awhile to get to know someone, it is not easy for me to pour out my heart to someone and let them know the complete me, for the fact that I know I will move, I will leave, or… you will leave.  I often wonder, as I meet and get to know someone… when I leave, or they leave, will they remember me?  will they want to keep in touch with me?   Will I want to keep in touch with them?

I honestly had to say Yes, to all of the above with April.  And even after this visit, I can still say yes, to evey single question!

This wk, not only have I had my talk with April, but we also got a phone call from Les, a friend we had back in North Dakota that we have not seen since 2000.  Sean and him pass emails a couple of times a year through work, but I have not talked with him.  We just found out that he has 2 daughters the same age as ours.

So this has been a little different day than what I am used to, but I am happy to be on this great journey!

Acrobats galore!

My sister-in-law and her boyfriend are in town for a visit.  And what is a visit to Las Vegas without hitting a show?  So we went online to see what shows we could see at an affordable price.  Yes, you did see that right.  They are on vacation, and WE are seeing a show!  All they said was that they wanted to see a circus, so thinking on an acrobatic line, this is what we chose!

 There are so many shows here in Vegas to choose from, and most of them offer a military discount also!  The show that we ended up deciding on was the Cirque du Soleil Mystère at Treasure Island.  It was fantastic, there was always something going on.  I honestly believe that if you could have 4 sets of eyes, you would still miss something that was happening somewhere on the stage.  It had strength, power, acrobats, dance, comedy, and the list could go on forever!

At one point in the show there are these 2 men, that have… so much strength, diligence, and trust in each other.  Honestly the entire show everyone must have complete trust in each other, but this is just… different.  These 2 men have such concentration, they balanced one-handed… oh.. forget it, I am having the visions of the show, and there truly are no words to explain the awe of it all.  Mesmerized that is how I was at that moment they were on stage!  Absolutely a fantastic show.

Of course they ask for no cameras and as you would guess, it is for the safety of all the people on stage as they are flying in the air!  And then you get these idiots who just keep flashing their phones non stop taking pictures.  They not only came out before the show really started, but then came out a bit into the show to request it again.

The military discount along with children under the age of 12 get 50% off of the Mystere ticket price, that is as of right now, and they can always change the discount program.  Our tickets with taxes and fees included ended up being about $63 each.  This is really not bad at all, and it makes it affordable so that you could still visit a 2nd show if you were just visiting in town!  Always keep in mind when getting your military discount price that you will need to call into the box office for the tickets, you can not get the discount online.  I have always chosen to pick up at the will call also, just so I don’t keep getting fees added on!

I think my next show will be “O’ another Cirque du Soleil show at the Bellagio.  Hopefully when I get some more visitors they will want to go see it also!  To be honest… they were not offering a military discount on this show yet, I am sure because it is a newer show.  However it does look fantastic too!

If you are a local to Vegas there are many other ways to see these shows at discounted prices.  Many websites are available to locals, and this does include the military that are stationed here.  You will just need to show something with your local address on it, to get the local rates.

With all the acrobats galore, I would love to go see the Mystere show yet again.  I am sure that there was so much of the show that I missed seeing.  The stage is in the air, on the ground, towards the back of the stage and on the sides of the stage.  Everything is going on everywhere most of the time.. again I must say… absolutely Fantastic!

My Samsung Washer and Dryer in action!

So I have had my new Samsung dryer in action since last wkend, and the Samsung washer in action since Tuesday.  I have had plenty of time to try out all of their wonderful features.  Well, maybe not ALL the features, thankfully!

I can tell you as of right now, I am still totally and completely in LOVE with each of them.  I can hardly wait to see the effects that they will have on my water, electric and my gas bills! 

One of the best things I have found so far about the dryer is unlike my last dryer it gets the clothes dry the first time around, and not having to go through 3 complete cycles first!  Really I love that it tells you with a digital timer approx, how long it is doing to take for the cycle to complete…  however…. it turns off when the clothes are dry!  I also love the fact that you don’t have to go off of the regular settings, you can make up your own, you can set time and temp however you want!  It also has a rack for whatever you may want to use it for, like shoes or sweaters!  There is also a steam setting, haven’t used it yet either.  I will tell you that all of the quilts and comforters have been dried in there and there was still plenty of room that I could have put them all in there at one time!

The washer, do you want to read about how much I love my washer!  It was perfect!  There is a setting just for bedding!  When I put the linens in from Jaden’s room, I placed a down type comforter (queen size) both sheets, 2 side blankets, and the pillow cases (2), then I added all the linens from Schyler’s crib too!  Wow, that was a lot in one load, but I probably could have fit Shyla’s in, but.. I didn’t!  And quiet, I don’t even have to shut the laundry room door!  Noise is a bother to me, with having 3 kids running around, I really prefer to have all the appliances in the house to make as little noise as possible.  So this one is another major for me, on the…. I totally Love scale!

Laundry has been awesome, I really have not minded it.  And I don’t have to wait all day to get the laundry done. I don’t know about you, but the washer always gets done way… before the dryer (maybe that was because that old dryer wasn’t working?)  So, now my dryer is done long before my washer, so I can get… lots of things done.  And for right now, until the kids are bigger, I have been able to get all 3 kids clothes done in one load!  I really love having this setting.

I was a bit worried because of few reviews that I read, commented on the smell of the washer.  I will say that I don’t smell anything.. I keep putting my head in there to see if there is any smell at all and there is not!  No, smell in the dryer either!  Of course I have not used it yet, but there is a sanitize setting on the washer, that I can not wait to use!

Here is some information right from the Lowe’s website!

Image x

• View Demo

 

Samsung  4.3 Cu. Ft. Front-Load Washer (White) ENERGY STAR

Item #: 49179  |  Model #: WF419AAW

• ENERGY STAR® qualified
• Vibration reduction technology provides quiet operation and flexibility to install on a second floor or near a bedroom
• ActivFresh™ actively cleans and freshens clothes in cold water without bleach, keeping the washer’s interior fresh, as well
• Pure Cycle™ – Clean your drum with the touch of a button to ensure fresh, clean drum longevity without the need for detergent
• Stainless steel diamond drum reduces wear and tear on fabrics
• Internal water heater
• Most efficient Samsung washer, 127% more efficient than energy star federal standards

And here is the information from the Lowe’s website for my dryer!

Image x

//  

Samsung  7.4 Cu. Ft. Gas Dryer

Item #: 49545  |  Model #: DV419AGW

• Steam refresh and WrinkleCare cycles reduce wrinkles, remove odors and refresh clothing
• Sensor dry detects the moisture level in the load and adjusts the drying time to save time and money
• Stainless steel drum prevents discoloration and rusting
• Wrinkle prevent option intermittently tumbles clothes at the end of the drying cycle to help prevent wrinkles from setting in

So I will say again.. I am totally In Love with my new Samsung washer and dryer!  And I would recommend them to anyone who is in the market for a new set!  I don’t own any wool, that would need washing, but can you believe this thing has a wool setting too!

God delayed cleaning day for the perfect day!

Today is visitation day!  Sean’s sister, is on an airplane right now, almost ready to land.  This is the first time that she has EVER been to visit us.

Ok, Sean and I have been married for almost 17 years and this is his sisters  first time EVER visiting us.  Now, I have to give her a little bit of credit.  She is 15 years younger than Sean.  So I really can’t fault her for this being her first time to visit.  She has seen Jaden a few times, and Shyla just one time.  This will be her first time to see Schyler.

I have to admit that she will be landing in just 8 minutes, and Sean is picking her up from the airport.  I have been nervous, not really nervous, but…something.  I always like to have our house clean when someone comes for a visit, but when someone has NEVER been into my home, I want it smelling fresh, and looking clean, and we all know that this is almost an impossible task, when you have 3 small critters running around, and always wanting their toys out.  So, I cleaned the best that I could, getting everything put away, and her boyfriends room in order.  Yes, you read that right her boyfriend!  Another first impression that I am feeling the pressure of..  So, I called the cleaning lady and she was supposed to come out this past Monday, but called to say that she could not, because her car was in the shop, she had been hit.  Then she said she would come this wk, and nothing, I heard nothing from her.  Yesterday she called and made appt for this morning.  All that much better, cause….

MY HOUSE IS CLEAN, AND THE SMELL IS FRESH, AND ALL THE KIDS TOYS ARE PUT AWAY!!  I think that God has blessed me yet again.  I think he knew that I would not be able to keep this big house clean, so he delayed her coming, so that it would be clean just as she was getting ready to come through the door!  Now, for the past hour, I have been able to sit back, relax…. and enjoy the moments and the smell!!

Once again, as upset as I have been trying to get toilets cleaned, and carpets done, crown molding up, thinking of dusting and cleaning toys all the time. I have also had to fit in the running back and forth to Taekwondo, basketball and school.  Sean thankfully got back from his TDY on Sunday, but while he was gone he lost his cell phone.  So things really have not been as relaxing as I would have liked it to be… but I am glad that God works in his own time, instead of my time… cause as much as I wanted to have the house cleaned on Monday as I scheduled it… his plan is much better… in getting it done today….   Thank you God!

Online Tutoring for you child…

Are you interested in tutoring for your child.  There is an option if you want something a bit more convenient that running your child all over town tutor.com is there to help!  The link that I just gave goes right into the Military dependent part.

tutor.com will tutor in 20 different subjects and of course is not only for the Military and their families.  The nice part for the Military dependents is that the service that tutor.com is offering is free!  No, it is not really totally free, you never get something for nothing you should know that by now!  The program is actually being provided by the Department of Defense. Tutor.com has written this in one of their areas on the Eligibility page  that continued Department of Defense sponsorship of this program is dependent on the availability of DOD funds.

This being an online service to help those in K-12, they can help with homework, or even just tutoring!  I think that this would be a big help even if your spouse is not deployed.  I know that I have not quiet got this far in school, because Jaden is just now in K.  I can see that it is just a few short years away, and I probably won’t be able to solve any of his math problems.  I will certainly be thankful for programs that are provided to us, just like this!