I’m not going to go into a lot of detail. I will just say that this is one of the Thanksgivings, that I really would prefer to forget. And I will, I think it will just take time. For now, I am going to show you… out of sight out of mind.. AKA: Angela
My husband and I had some major issues that day, I think everything on that note is resolved at least for the moment. Then we have a continuation of my mom. At first I was thinking about writing on this, and then… I thought, let’s think on it and see how I feel in a couple of days. So here we are, and this is what I am putting out there.
Thanksgiving was not really going that well, as you can gather from my above statement. And I had already spoken to my sister (who does Thanksgiving dinner for our family in Ohio). My mom and dad both go to her house and my grandmother also. This is the first holiday where my grandfather was not in the picture, so I am sure that it was difficult on all of them (he is in the nursing home). My dad had called me early also, so I talked with him for a bit. Early in the day (remember Ohio is a 3 hour difference) I had called my mom’s cell phone a couple of times, and also her house phone. No answer from her or my grandmother. I thought… “well forget it, I will call her tonight” in all honesty I thought that she would see that I called, and call me back, or maybe just maybe she would decide for herself to just call me!
That afternoon (dinner time) for them, I called my sister to tell her about a safe for our mom, it was something she had mentioned that she wanted and their was a good price on it, so I wanted my sister to tell her about it. Just as I started telling Andrea, she said “hold on they are all right here, I will put you on speaker so they can all hear you” I then proceeded explaining without anyone but Andrea saying a word. No.. boo, kiss my butt, hello, goodbye…nothing. Not even a “happy Thanksgiving” remember I had not spoken to my mom yet! Then Andrea took me off speaker and I told her that I was going to let her go, so she could finish getting dinner ready for everyone. We hung up!
The day proceeded on without our phone ringing even once. My mom, never called. Why would I even think for a moment, that she would? Is it really to much to expect her to call? Remember, I called her a few different times, she has caller id on her home and her cell phone. How could she not know, that I was trying to call her?
This brings us to Friday, it was about 8pm Ohio time. I get a call, when I look at my cell phone, I see that it was my mom. I instantly got irritated, however I pushed the button to ignore the call, not to be mean to her, but because we (entire family) was watching a movie and there was only about 5 minutes left of it. So, when the movie was done, I called her back. And this is how it went…
Mom “hey, you have timing, I just got in Wanda’s door”
me “I can let you go, I was just calling you back, so you can visit Wanda” (Wanda is her cousin, that she visits a couple of hours away from her house, and then she goes with Alice (Wanda sister) to go grave digging (aka: geneology).
mom “I was just calling you back, I will call you when I leave” (she went there for the wkend) “you sound upset, is everything ok?”
me” I’m fine, I’ll talk with you when you have time, bye”
You see, I was angry. I was angry that WAY more than 24 hours had passed and my mom had never thought about calling me back. Not only had she not thought about calling me back, but she had not even considered calling me or my family for Thanksgiving. Then to fuel my fire, she calls me 5 minutes away from her cousins house, where she is going to spend the wkend away from my grandmother (who according to my mom can not be away from her, with just putting my grandfather into a nursing home, she can’t get away).
I am bitter, I am angry… I was and still am. When is enough, enough? Today, is Monday morning (Vegas time) and my phone still has not rang, my mom still has not attempted to call me. Should this, does this… surprise me? No, not at all, but does it anger me even further?? Yes, it does.
My mom says that she can’t come out here for a visit (she is only able to take wkends plus 1 day usually), however with this past holiday wkend being extremely long… why was it that she couldn’t use the paid for ticket to come visit us then? Am I wrong to think that if it is calm enough around there for her to leave my grandmother for the wkend, while she goes to geneology, that she should be able to come here?
Maybe I am wrong, maybe I am wrong in thinking that if she actually truly cared about anyone but herself, she would be at my house this wkend. I know she surprised me last Christmas, and I was ecstatic about it. But how can she be so selfish to not even think about us….
I guess it really does come down to… OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND~ I just wish that my heart could feel the same. Cause I am so tired of the hurt that I allow her to cause me.