Jaden 7th birthday.

Even though we shared a bounce house for the kids birthdays.  We still had some fun, celebrating Jaden’s birthday by himself.  He chose to go to the Cannery of course for dinner, just as he did last year.  It is his ultimate FAVORITE place to eat.  Nothing like taking your kids to the casino.  Only in Vegas, would you believe this to be NORMAL!   The prices are always great, so we don’t mind, as long as it is not on a EVERYDAY basis!

Then we had cake, our family thing has been regular cake for the party, and then for a special on your birthday we go to Dairy Queen and get their ice cream cake, this year was snickers!  And it was totally YUMMY! (FYI… they also do a Military Discount, out our local store, so it is an extra little treat!)

Everyone called for his birthday, which was really nice.  He loves talking on the phone (however for some odd reason, he thinks that when he is talking to everyone, they can see what he shows them.)  I know he is now 7, but I think the deployments and seeing daddy on the camera, on the computer, has really messed him up.  So I am always in the back ground, yelling out, he is showing you XXXX.  And then whoever he is talking to, goes along like they see it!  I have tried explaining this to him, that they can not see the phone, but in all of his excitement and gratitude he forgets and wants them to see whatever it was that they sent him, that he is playing with it.  I should just be thankful that he understands, the care that was put into each gift!

I know that this was part 2 really of his birthday, but I wanted to share a photo also!  I totally forgot to take pictures in the bounce house while everyone was here, but since we rented it for 24 hours, I went out with the kids at about 8pm and took photos of them, just enjoying their day!

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out of sight, out of mind

I’m not going to go into a lot of detail.  I will just say that this is one of the Thanksgivings, that I really would prefer to forget.  And I will, I think it will just take time.  For now, I am going to show you… out of sight out of mind.. AKA: Angela

My husband and I had some major issues that day, I think everything on that note is resolved at least for the moment.  Then we have a continuation of my mom.  At first I was thinking about writing on this, and then… I thought, let’s think on it and see how I feel in a couple of days.  So here we are, and this is what I am putting out there.

Thanksgiving was not really going that well, as you can gather from my above statement.  And I had already spoken to my sister (who does Thanksgiving dinner for our family in Ohio).  My mom and dad both go to her house and my grandmother also.  This is the first holiday where my grandfather was not in the picture, so I am sure that it was difficult on all of them (he is in the nursing home).  My dad had called me early also, so I talked with him for a bit.  Early in the day (remember Ohio is a 3 hour difference) I had called my mom’s cell phone a couple of times, and also her house phone.  No answer from her or my grandmother.  I thought… “well forget it, I will call her tonight” in all honesty I thought that she would see that I called, and call me back, or maybe just maybe she would decide for herself to just call me!

That afternoon (dinner time) for them, I called my sister to tell her about a safe for our mom, it was something she had mentioned that she wanted and their was a good price on it, so I wanted my sister to tell her about it.  Just as I started telling Andrea, she said “hold on they are all right here, I will put you on speaker so they can all hear you”  I then proceeded explaining without anyone but Andrea saying a word.  No.. boo, kiss my butt, hello, goodbye…nothing.  Not even a “happy Thanksgiving” remember I had not spoken to my mom yet!  Then Andrea took me off speaker and I told her that I was going to let her go, so she could finish getting dinner ready for everyone.  We hung up!

The day proceeded on without our phone ringing even once.  My mom, never called.  Why would I even think for a moment, that she would?  Is it really to much to expect her to call?  Remember, I called her a few different times, she has caller id on her home and her cell phone.  How could she not know, that I was trying to call her?

This brings us to Friday, it was about 8pm Ohio time.  I get a call, when I look at my cell phone, I see that it was my mom.  I instantly got irritated, however I pushed the button to ignore the call, not to be mean to her, but because we (entire family) was watching a movie and there was only about 5 minutes left of it.  So, when the movie was done, I called her back.  And this is how it went…

Mom “hey, you have timing, I just got in Wanda’s door”

me “I can let you go, I was just calling you back, so you can visit Wanda” (Wanda is her cousin, that she visits a couple of hours away from her house, and then she goes with Alice (Wanda sister) to go grave digging (aka: geneology).

mom “I was just calling you back, I will call you when I leave”  (she went there for the wkend) “you sound upset, is everything ok?”

me” I’m fine, I’ll talk with you when you have time, bye”

mom “bye”

You see, I was angry.  I was angry that WAY more than 24 hours had passed and my mom had never thought about calling me back.  Not only had she not thought about calling me back, but she had not even considered calling me or my family for Thanksgiving.  Then to fuel my fire, she calls me 5 minutes away from her cousins house, where she is going to spend the wkend away from my grandmother (who according to my mom can not be away from her, with just putting my grandfather into a nursing home, she can’t get away).

I am bitter, I am angry… I was and still am.  When is enough, enough?  Today, is Monday morning (Vegas time) and my phone still has not rang, my mom still has not attempted to call me.  Should this, does this… surprise me?  No, not at all, but does it anger me even further?? Yes, it does.

My mom says that she can’t come out here for a visit (she is only able to take wkends plus 1 day usually), however with this past holiday wkend being extremely long… why was it that she couldn’t use the paid for ticket to come visit us then?  Am I wrong to think that if it is calm enough around there for her to leave my grandmother for the wkend, while she goes to geneology, that she should be able to come here?

Maybe I am wrong, maybe I am wrong in thinking that if she actually truly cared about anyone but herself, she would be at my house this wkend.  I know she surprised me last Christmas, and I was ecstatic about it.  But how can she be so selfish to not even think about us….

I guess it really does come down to… OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND~  I just wish that my heart could feel the same.  Cause I am so tired of the hurt that I allow her to cause me.

 

7 years later

7 years ago, we were stationed in Alaska, and we decided when Sean returned home from his deployment that we were going to start a family soon.  The doctors said to wait 6 months.  And that was our plan!  Then we found out 2 months into it, that he was going to be deploying soon, so we decided to skip doctors advice and if we got pregnant then Oh Well!  And the next month we tested positive!  Sean deployed and came home in September.

21 November came and so did the labor.  I was 34 wks and 5 days!.  Jaden Michael born at 5lbs 13 oz.  My first baby, my little man!  It was winter, it was cold, but he was just in time for Thanksgiving!  I was released from the hospital Thanksgiving day, without my little man, and 3 wks later I was able to finally bring him home.

He has been my light, in the darks of the winter of Alaska, and he is so proud to say that he was born in Alaska, he thinks it’s the coolest thing ever!  He made the move with us, just before his 3rd birthday, the drive all the way down to Nevada.  It wasn’t till 1/2 way through the drive that my mom, turned the radio on in the car so that the movies he was watching played out loud through the speakers.  It was then that he realized that the mouths of the characters really did something other than move!

Since the move and a couple more deployments, and 2 sisters to add.  Jaden has started school, and made a couple of drives between Ohio and Nevada, even a drive to Tenn, and Michigan.  He is my traveler, and he loves to go anywhere.  I think he will be the one that I will always be able to run away with!

Jaden turned 7 yesterday, and the last couple of years we have endured some growing pains.  I was blessed to have him come so easily into our lives.  I am sorry buddy that you had to share your day with your sister, but am so thankful that you were so anxious to share in the fun!

Happy 7th year, my sweet, sweet little man!

 

 

Turned 2!

My little Schyler, has turned 2.  Her birthday was Saturday!  Time flies by so fast…. Where did it go?

I went to the hospital for routine blood pressure checks on Monday.  I failed it, they sent me to labor and delivery, they ran some more tests.  Not even 5 minutes passed and these nurses were swarming around me, I honestly did not know how serious all this was.  Then here she came, the Doctor.  She says ” I have the ambulance on the way, and have contacted the hospital, as soon as they can get here, you are gone, they have everything set to take the baby when you get there.”  WHAT?  ARE YOU SERIOUS?  I was just over 33 wks, both of my other babies were 34 wkers, how could this possibly be, there is no way.  The baby is still too little, they can’t take it, I have 2 other children waiting for me at home, and my husband just got home from a deployment.  You aren’t supposed to add any unnecessary stress to them when they first come home?  How are we going to deal with a NICU baby and who is going to take care of my others?

Wow, what a moment?  I was at the hospital shorty after that, and the specialists came in, did an ultrasound and said that the baby was just under 4 lbs.  And that they wanted to wait as long as possible to take the baby, so we would try different medicine to bring down that blood pressure.

A couple of days later the doctor said they could no longer wait, my blood pressure had not come down on any of the medicines that they tried, I was still 216ish over 117ish, and that they would wait till the next afternoon to schedule, but that it would be the next afternoon for sure.  The morning came and the doctor came to say that the afternoon would never come, that my husband had to come within the hour, that they were worried if they waited any longer that they may loose 1 or both of us.

They ran me into surgery, where we me our little girl.  Braelyn “Schyler” 3lbs 10 oz, and of course they let me see her for just a moment, and then scooped her away.  It took awhile to take care of me.  However they kept coming to my room to inform me, of my ultimate perfection.

Our Schyler, was nothing short of Perfection to everyone.  She was small and early, she was expected to have some complications, but had absolutely nothing wrong with her. She was just minature.  She ate within the first hour (what ended up being a 1/2 tsp, and they were all totally shocked and excited.  She breathed on her own, with absolutely no help, she was also able to hold her own temperature.  We were thrilled.  Of course it wasn’t until MANY long long hours later that I was able to set eyes on her.  But… when I did I could hardly believe, what miracle was in front of me.  I was blessed with nothing but the pure Perfection from God’s hands!

2 years later, I look at Schyler and am totally amazed at where we have been, and how God gave me the blessing to be her mother.  I am amazed at how she developed.  She catches the eye of every stranger.  People honestly can not take their eyes off of her, she has that personality, that she will love you for just who you are, from the moment she lays her eyes on you.  You will  be totally devoted to her.  I am not saying that just because I am her mommy, I am saying that because it is the truth~

So thank you Lord, for blessing me with my small bundle of your perfection.  And… Schyler I hope you had a wonderful birthday with your bounce house and friends~(I know you had to share with your brother for his birthday, but I promise as you get older that you can have the day ALL to yourself with your girl friends!)  I love you with every breath of my being~

What’s your dysfunction?

What is your dysfunction?  I was watching TV last wk, one of our favorite shows “Son’s of Anarchy”.  And how much more truth can be taken from a show like this?  The phrase that was said… (I know I am not exact, sorry) “Everyone comes from a dysfunctional family this is what makes each one of us strong enough to be successful”.  WOW!!

My family would totally fit into this show, almost perfectly.  Not everyday, but just for this tidbit!  My sister and I have dealt with the issues of our family since we were small children.  However in the past several years, though we never thought it possible, everything has totally escalated to levels that should not even be imaginable.

At the moment it is reality for our family that is dysfunctional.  Mothers not accepting full responsibility and only being able to pass the buck, on important measures.  Grandfathers with Dementia having to go on lock down because of behavioral issues, nursing homes.  VA departments not being very informative.  Grandmothers with Alzheimer’s, accusing those who would do anything for them of stealing.  Dad’s who are completely self-absorbed, and at times having total lack of respect of those close to them.  Spouses who try to hold it together, but feel that the burden is at times too much.  Spouses who feel that going to work is enough of a job without feeling the need to contribute when they come home.  “Friends” who really are in the relationship to see what is in it for them, or waiting for the reaping of rewards.  Medical fields, not being able to find answers and phone companies that just can’t uphold their sides of the contract.

Is it any wonder that are people are facing total dysfunctions?  Is it any wonder that people just don’t cope well with life?

The things that I stress about are brief.  I think mostly because of my upbringing from an early age.  The 1 magnificent thing that my parents did do extremely well together.  Is taught my sister and I to never put our trust into anything, but our Faith in God.  I think our families have let us down in many ways, but we have learned that the dysfunction is normal.  Not just in our family, but in everyone’s family.

When I was growing up, in the small town.  Our “dirty laundry” was aired for the entire small town to see.  This was thanks to the minister at our church.  It was his wife actually, but it does stem from him, because he is the church leader.  And being held with this responsibility from his congregation and even more so by God, himself.  He should have been a true leader and told his wife and others to put a cork in it.  I know that things were not said to hurt us kids, but it was done out of nothing but NASTY GOSSIP.

The dysfunction of our lives, is no better and no worse than anyone elses, EVER.  It is all in how we all learn to cope with it.  I know that when people hear about my trials and tribulations, I hear gasps of concern.  But when I hear them tell me their stories, I listen with a broken heart for them, and wonder if my situation was just as bad, how would I handle it?  It’s funny how we all perceive things so differently!

The saying “”Everyone comes from a dysfunctional family this is what makes each one of us strong enough to be successful”.  Is so true to me.  If it wasn’t for the total dysfunction of my family growing up, I would not be who I am today.  I would not have the patience, tolerance, self-worth, love for my children, drive to be successful at EVERYTHING that I attempt, and most importantly I would not have my love for Christ, I would not have the faith that he WILL provide an answer.  I will never say that I don’t ever have doubts or fears, that I don’t get overwhelmed or worried, I will just say that I have never crossed a path, that I didn’t know was in God’s hands.

So, I am thankful for my dysfunctional family, my dysfunctional childhood and up bringing.  Would have I chosen to have things different?  Absolutely, but the dysfunctions of my everyday life, has given me my relationship with God, and has in return given my blessings beyond belief.

So, let me now ask?????  What’s your dysfunction?  Has it somehow, been the reason that you are… who you are at this moment?

What did we do today?

What did we do today for Veterans Day?  We pretty much just sat back, and said… relax.

My husband works very long hours, not to mention the time it takes to get back and forth to his job site.  If he works his normal hours, he leaves the house at 6am and returns at 7pm 3 days a wk, and the other 2 days he still leaves the house at the same time but returns at 4.  In addition to that we add in the times that I run back and forth to the school for Jaden, and his TKD is another 4 times a wk.  And let’s not forget that I started taking care of a baby for another military family.

Because of the Air Show this wkend on Nellis AFB, the couple that I sit for needed me for more than the normal hours (3 days a wk) so this wk, I have had the little bundle M T TH F SA SU.   And the F SA SU she was dropped off at 0545.  Not her normal time, nor mine!  Today is Friday, so I still have time to adapt?

Anyways, back to Veterans day.. I am so proud of my husband and ALL of the other Military People, and families that are out there.  I am so thankful for my freedom because of each and every one of you out there!  I am so thankful, that I live in a country that I can say and do what I want, that I can show my face in public, and most of all.. I can praise God and worship him in public and not for fear of what my country will do to me.  I am proud to be an American, but very proud and grateful to all who have worked and fought to keep this country free, so that I can have every luxury that I do!  I am also thankful for those people who fought for our freedoms, that were not able to return home to their loved ones, and I am truly sorry for those families losses.

My husband and I decided that we would go out to dinner.  We went out to Outback Steakhouse!  I sooo love going there.  Besides my love of their filet, my husband absolutely LOVES the Bloomin’ Onion.  Yes, I did write LOVES.  You see the poor man never orders it, even though he loves it so much.  I am allergic to onions.  So he doesn’t even set it on the table, even though I tell him, he is the one that goes to work everyday, if he wants that onion he can surely have it.  So he waits for us to invite people for dinner to order, his MUCH DESIRED LOVE…. BLOOMIN’ ONION!

Outback Steakhouse gave a fantastic Bloomin’ Onion and soda, free to Veterans and Active Duty!  And my husband knowing my love of the filet, decided to fulfill both of our desires for one night!  Thank you Outback Steakhouse for another fantastic dinner.  And also letting us know that a 1-year-old and a 3-year-old, can devour it faster than my husband!

And upon going to the Outback Steakhouse site, I found out that they have teamed up with Operation Home Front!  Yippie!!!  Something that I did not know, but makes me an even bigger LOVER of Outback Steakhouse.  Visiting the middle east for 9 times to support our troops! Now that is something special!

I hope that you all had a fantastic Veterans Day!

New adventure!

I have a new adventure and thought that I would share with you!

I was sent a note last wk.  From John, to contact him.  He started  Just For Military not very long ago, and asked me if I would be interested in being a contributing blogger?  I was very excited, and discussed it with my sister of course!!  And she looked it over a bit, and told me that I should do it, that it looked like a great thing.  So, I did!  And my first  (introductory) page, posted this morning!

Just For Military is going to have a few military spouse bloggers, as well as its main focus as.   Discounts in each area, you can look up your area that you live in, and if there are any LOCAL discounts available it will show it.  As well as there of course are all the chain places that want to announce the discounts.  There are many other places to maneuver around… finances, life, wow so much more… I will let you go take a peak for yourself!

I am listed under Angela, as one of the contributing bloggers, and there are a couple of others also.  So come check it out… and if there is anything that you would like to read or find out about over there…. let us know, and we will see what we can find out!

I hope to see you HERE and THERE!