From Camo to Green

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It’s that time again.  Time for belt testing at TaeKwonDo.  Even though we have been struggling as I spoke about recently.  Jaden pulled NO punches and worked hard to get the next belt.  He went from Camo to Green!

I am so proud of him for taking the extra time and energy to focus.  It really does help him, because he enjoys the movement of it all.  It calms him.  And as you can see from the pictures… his face just lights up!

He did not test this time with the other students, he tested after class on his own.  He still had the kids from class there, but there was no one around him doing the same movements at different times, which he has a tendency to get distracted by.  He needs horse blinders I think!! So, congrats my little man for the move from Camo to Green!

He is so happy with the belt movement right now, that he has not even complained about going to class, so maybe my worries are done??

Obligations or Commitments?

I am personally back on track!  Ok, that may be stretching it…. I’m trying to make a schedule that works!  Not doing bad at it, I just need to keep tweaking it!  Upon our return to school for the year some things have changed!  And I think I may have myself confused on what the difference is between my OBLIGATIONS or my COMMITMENTS?

The thing that has me questioning OBLIGATIONS or COMMITMENTS, with my son Jaden.  You see he is TaeKwonDo as you would know without a doubt by reading MANY of my previous posts!  This December will be 2 years.  He absolutely loves all the tricking and moves.  He practices the kicks and flips all the time in my living room (good thing we have LOTS of open space!)  However we took last summer off and he was practicing the entire time we were gone, so he kept with his same testing cycle (we weren’t gone as long as this year).  And he took some time to adjust to the schedule but finally he adapted and fulfilled his contract.  We talked with him before paying for the next 6 months (the original was 1 year).  Because of us being gone for the summer our payment takes us to October.

Since we have been back from Ohio (a few days over a month) Jaden has been complaining about going to TKD.  I tell him it is a COMMITMENT that he made.  When he is there and doing his forms he is happy, he does them and is fairly good at them.  He is a bit behind because he is 3 wks behind the other kids who did not take the summer off.  I’m not going to say that he has worked a lot harder to catch up, but he is upset that he does not have his stripes yet.  He fusses daily about going to class so the other day I sat face to face with him. “I don’t want you to whine and cry, I just want to know why you are so upset about TKD?  I want to know what it is that you don’t like anymore?  You practice on your own and do the moves all the time, you obviously like it!” He replies back to me “mom, I’m behind.  Everyone that was in my belt has their next belt, and I don’t.”

His problem is not that he doesn’t like TKD, it’s that he is behind all of his peers.  He is still in the same class as them he just has a different color belt!  Ok, let me put this out there…. I never played sports!  I was never involved in anything competitive other than Bible Drill.  Bible Drill was different it was memory and quick response, you worked at it as a team to help each other with memorization.  Then when the drill came, everyone was on their own…  So NO I am not a person who was use to the “I need to keep up” mentality.

Jaden is going to keep going until we have used all of our payment.  I have been looking at this and explaining it to him as his COMMITMENT.  When I went online just a bit ago, I was reading on the differences of Obligations and Commitments.

Obligation   a binding promise, contract, sense of duty, etc.

I think what has me confused is…. I feel just as this person explained….. Commitment… go ahead read it and come back!  or read it later…. I feel as though I want Jaden to enjoy things, maybe it was because when I put my stamp of “I will complete a task” I need to do it, no questions.  I don’t promise or “Commit” unless I am sure that I will be able to do it without regret.  I have however felt obligated to do things before, but it is usually short-term or spur of the moment.  I am not someone who wants to be doing something long-term that my heart is not into.

With the new school year routine in motion, and going to TKD.  I don’t want to make Jaden go everyday to something he doesn’t want to be at.  I start to think…ok, he can quit when our contract is complete, but mean while we just won’t go as often.  Is that teaching him anything?  If I let him slack off and not take it seriously.  Or… do I say, you give it your all!  Complete this contract and give it your best try, and if you don’t want to do it, we will quit, but if you change your mind you can stay for a new contract and maybe have time to catch up with the others again.

When it comes to things that your kids get involved with… do you let them just drop their “obligations” or do you make them fulfill them?

Did I do him more harm than good, by taking him out for the summer?  Or should it be a learning of sacrifice?  He sacrificed a new testing of a belt, to go back and visit family.

I guess this is the time that I really don’t know how to look at it.  I don’t want him to have an OBLIGATION to something that he may later resent.  However I don’t want him to think just because sometimes things get hard, and you get behind that it is okay to just give up.  Life is hard and sometimes we get behind, but you need to keep your head up and keep doing the things you enjoy, because if you don’t life passes by so quickly that your moments could turn into regrets of missed opportunities.

I don’t want him to miss out on being a kid.  There are so many things already that I feel he has missed out on, because of the places we have lived and things that we say “we will let him do after the military”  well now he is to big or too old, and I don’t want him to miss out on anything else, but I also don’t want him to resent his memories either.

Is there a good answer?  Is there a right answer?  Do we let him fulfill the contract and then take him out until he changes his mind?  Or even if he changes his mind will he not want to do it again, because he would then be further away from the belt of his friends?

Goodness…. this makes me even more confused…is there an emotional parenting 101 book?

What the….

If I were to say….  WHAT THE _____….  What would you assume the next word to be?  Seriously feel free to comment!  I know what my brain fills in the blank fairly quickly.

My sister and I have agreed the past 2 years when I have been home, that we do not, and will not have our children saying ” What the.”  Is it just me?  Why in the world has it become a world of …. oh they hear it so why can’t they say it?  I’m not talking about late teens, because I know that most teens do what they are going to do, when they are away from their parents.  I’m talking about young children.

Last year I had no idea where they were hearing this.  I have to admit, that I allow my son to watch cartoons, that I have not watched myself.  I guess this is a parenting thing that I probably need to reconsider.  Why can’t we just have the old cartoons on all the time.  I know that if you sit and break down each show, you can find something bad or inappropriate in everything, I just don’t think that LANGUAGE should be something to overlook.  I’m NOT perfect… I will NOT say that I don’t say bad words, I don’t often say them, and I definitely try NOT to say them in front of my children.  I honestly get upset when I do say them, and then I fix on it all day.  BUT I DON’T WANT THEM ON THE CARTOONS~

I know that “WHAT THE…” is not a bad word per say.  However why not just say the normal saying?  You know that most people in our society fill in the rest of the sentence with what word?  HELL.  I’m sorry I just don’t think that a 4-year-old needs to go around saying that.  My son is 7, and I don’t want him saying it.

I know just a little vent~  Then lets not forget when I was in Ohio, Jaden was corrected in church.  RIGHTFULLY so.  I wasn’t there so I didn’t see it first hand.  I was explained that he was shaking his booty during Children’s BIBLE School.  Ok so he was dancing~ ummm not really, he was literally shaking his booty.  When I asked him about it, because I was upset by what I was told.  His answer? “mom I wasn’t doing anything bad, I saw it when I was watching cartoons.”  My answer was “you’re not allowed to watch those types of cartoons” thinking it was adult swim (you know how children’s channels at a certain time become adult entertainment)!  Needless to say I was really upset that he kept insisting that it was a cartoon that he was allowed to watch, he was positive about it, then finally he spoke in MY ENGLISH.  It came out it was not the cartoon it was the commercial.  It was the M&M commercial.  Not knowing what he was talking about, I decided to GOOGLE it!  I did, I laughed so hard, that I upset myself.  I thought to myself, this is crazy.  I was totally mortified of what my son is doing in public and at church, but he did it in total innocence.  He didn’t understand that what on the children’s channel that he is allowed to watch he was now being scolded for.  Then after watching it, I laughed because he was right.  I said this channel was the only one that he is allowed to watch, he is not to change the channels, because I can NOT say they are appropriate, yet here I am upset by actions of what he thought was safe.

How do you explain to your child that a candy (M&M) is in a club picking up female M&M’s and shaking his booty is NOT acceptable behavior for a 7-year-old to follow in church, or anywhere else for the matter?  He really did not think anything was wrong with it.  I just told him that, that type of dance for ANY child in not acceptable.  And that they should NOT have this commercial during cartoon hours!  That sometimes adults forget that children can not distinguish between appropriate and inappropriate actions so parents are to be the ones to decipher!  Don’t get me wrong, I think that the commercial is cute, and I don’t have a problem with it being on regular tv, but I do not think it should be between kids commercials.  When I went looking for the commercial just a minute ago, I found that the M&M site has you put in your age, because the want to make sure that they are a responsible manufacturer.  This made me happy to see, but I wonder why the commercial is on this particular type of channel?  Just a question!

Is there NO way for a cartoon channel to remove certain things?  Has it become such a slack society that foul talk and dirty dancing and I’m sexy singing, is ok for children?  Maybe hearing “what the..” on the tv this morning as I’m getting the kids ready for school, hit me the wrong way.  Cause here I am screaming my point instead of getting him ready for school.

I still think that our cartoon channels need to get back to censoring, to make them appropriate for the kids.  It’s not just the language, it’s the music, and the actions!  As they say “actions speak louder than words”.  Am I wrong in feeling this strongly about this?  Tell me your view!!  Do you think it is ok for your kids to say… what the…?