budget cuts, where should troops fit in?

I personally am not a very political person.  I don’t get involved in, well much of it.  The closest thing I come, is making sure that I vote for a President.  And that really is the only time that I try to get informed about it.

I will obviously not get all up in a political discussion, because… I am very uninformed…

However I did just read a comment from someone who got me a bit worked up.  I know that each person has their own right to their own opinion so here is mine…

I personally do not think that the military should undergo a pay cut, but I also don’t think that we should really cut a large number of our troops.  What got me going is the comment of “we should cut our troops”and ” the caliber of the troops is not worth it, to keep them in”  also said “I am okay with keeping the pay the same, benefits, and bonus”  This person thinks the caliber of the people in the military is not up to par, ok.. that is the way it is with most people in any job line, not just the military.  However, I think that if the are getting their epr’s evaluated properly, this will affect their carrier in the military, and it will either make or break them. 

Keeping the bonus.  My husband has never got a bonus, not when he came into the military, and surely not when he has re-enlisted.  I don’t think that this has made an impact on my thoughts though.  I think that it is just like any job, anywhere… you don’t count on them if you were not told that you were going to get them.  Most of the people who I have known that did get bonuses have decided not to stay in until retirement.  And many of them were given a bonus, larger than my husbands yearly salary.  My personal belief is that if the bonus was taken away, that it would be ok, if this was one way to keep a budget for the military stronger.

Maybe the financial side of things would be the same, by cutting the troops when you are looking at the cost of deployments.  However the toll that it will take on families, and the hardships that one endures over and over again from deployments.  I know hence my blog name that the families are not issued through the military.  However… it is a fact that there are families out there that would like to have their spouses some of the times.

I know that for the most part the USAF has some of the shortest individual deployments and that I should not complain about the time gone.  However that is what the first thing that most people say.  “The AF has it easy because they are not gone for a full year at a time”.  You are right, and I do understand that they are not gone for a year at a time, however with the rotation windows that some of these guys do have sometimes they are only home for a couple of months before they are shipped out again for training and another deployment.  Some people just don’t see that side of things.  I won’t ever say that one is easier or harder than another to serve in, because they are just different. 

So for the budget cuts and cutting more troops, I don’t think that this is the complete answer.  I know I am only ranting on one part of it, but it is the only rant on it that I have at the moment.  Other than… Congress can cut their own salaries since they are not the ones going and defending their own countries freedoms.  However for some of them that have helped in the support of our freedoms… thank you, but I still don’t think you need to make that much.  Can’t you live on a military salary?

Deployment Daddy

Do you have a deployment daddy?  I do!  My husband like I have said has been deployed 14 times.  However he has only been deployed 2 times since we have had children.  This is a good thing seeing as our son is now 6 years old.  However going from a deployment being difficult for us with no children, is a much different situation when there are children brought into the picture.  So I thought that I would share some of what helped us cope this last time.

First I want to start by saying that it is no less difficult for someone without children to deal with a deployment than a person who has children.  I truly have been on both sides of the spectrum.  There is no getting used to them being gone, and there is no real “getting over it”.

So this last time that Sean left, there were a LOT of changes going on for my kids.  We had been kicked out of the rental with no notice, due to a foreclosure that we did not know was happening.  At that same time we found out that Sean was being deployed to Iraq, so I did not want to move into a house that I was not comfortable in.  So I took the move a step further.  I said I wanted to put the things into storage and go back home while he was gone to Ohio.  I made the arrangements with my mom to stay with her, and for her to keep our dogs for the next couple of months till I got there.  Our friends let us move into 1 of their bedrooms from Feb till the end of April when Sean was leaving (awesome friends!  Thanks… Parkers!)  We then put our things in storage, and took a small trailer with clothes, dog kennels ect home to Ohio, and then flew back here to Vegas as a family for the next month.

Sean and I had been talking about all of the issues that the kids would have to face.  This of course was Shyla’s first deployment and Jaden’s 2nd.  Jaden is older now, and may feel abandoned.  You never know if you are going to be able to talk on the phone, how internet is going to work, or if it is going to work for that matter.  So we decided on a few different ways to try to make some of the transition easier.  For us not only was daddy leaving… but we were homeless.  We did not have our own things, we were everything that they tell you NOT to be during a deployment!  So two of our decisions were..

1.  A jar full of candy.  I took a large jar, and put 1 piece of candy (wrapped) for everyday that he would be gone (I did overdo it by about a wk, expecting travel time).  so every day when Jaden got up or sometime during the day.. we would take out 1 piece of candy.  Shyla was not old enough to understand or eat candy, so I did not worry as much about this with her.  We did have a little bit of problems with this, but it is only because of Jaden’s age and wanting to share everything.  He would want to go get a piece out and give it to my mom, or give it to me, and tell us..” do you want a piece of candy from daddy?”  How do you tell him no?  So I would have to just replace the candy as it came closer for Sean to come home.  Anyways the real point of this jar of candy is so that the kids or you, can watch the time pass and see how near the end of the deployment it really easy.  For me it was way better than the calendar!

2.  We purchased our Daddy Guy!  The picture above is our Daddy.  (goodness I am tearing up right now thinking of this little man)  So he is an action figure.  My husband is an equipment operator, so there were no guys to be found that looked like him, but this guy was as close as we could get, however, there are a lot of military action figures for each of the different branches of service, and then you can also divide it down further to get many of the different career fields to suit your need.

So on the day that me and the kids flew out.  It was rough, I will not even pretend that it wasn’t.  While we were at the airport Sean came in (we got there early) so that he could reassure Jaden how much he was really loved.  While he was talking, he pulled out of the diaper bag, still in the packaging this Daddy Guy.  As he had Jaden on his lap, he opened the package, and said.  This little guy is me.  I will talk to you on the phone, but I can not be with you or see you.  So this guy will be everywhere that I can not.  He will watch you play ball, and he will go everywhere and see everything you do for me.  Keep me with you.  And he gave it to Jaden.  We also explained that this guy was not a toy!

So, this Daddy Guy kept  the Daddy Guy name even now.  So while Sean was gone, he went everywhere and did everything with us.  We slept with him in our room he either slept in bed or sat on the dresser watching us.  He traveled in the car on the visor so that he could watch the kids (also so that he knew they were seeing everything they did including fighting!)

He also rode in the diaper bag, when we went into stores, or traveled.  We made many trips to Michigan, Kentucky, and Tennessee.

So the day after the kids and I left for Ohio,  28 April….. I took a pregnancy test while I was talking on the phone to Sean (Jaden 4 and Shyla 9 months), I hate taking those things by myself!  It was positive!!!  So to add to all of our changes in life, Jaden was going to have to add yet another adjustment.  And then 29 April is when Sean left for his Iraq trip. 

Our Daddy Guy made it through the entire summer, and then I decided in October to suddenly make the trip back to Vegas.  The dr. were starting to tell me, that if I did not leave before Nov, that they would probably not let me leave the area.  So I quickly made arrangements to get on the road, probably about a wk or so.  My friend from Kentucky was so kind as to make the drive to help me with the kids, and well the dr, really did not want me to make the drive, being a high risk pregnancy.  So on the road we went, and back to Vegas we came.  During that year there was not a place that Sean was not at.  There was never a time that Jaden was not sure how much his Daddy really did love him. 

Jaden and Shyla would both hug and kiss this Daddy Guy and tell him how they loved him.  Sometimes Jaden would take him and tell him how sad he was, or how his day was good.  I really think this little action figure made dealing with a tough time a little easier, a little less like being left without their daddy.  Yes, they got to talk with Sean on the phone, and sometimes they could see him when we would use Skype on the computer.  This made it nice to, cause we have never been able to do either of those before.  But..;. this little action figure was truly Jaden’s hero when Sean was gone.

Today, we still have our Daddy Guy.  No, they do not take them everywhere with them, but when Sean is gone working up North overnite, they like to bring him out.  Actually I had to bring him in from the car, because he was still traveling with us, this past wk.  I think it is something comforting to the kids.

So if you are fixing to make a deployment or your spouse is, maybe think about getting a Daddy Guy, or Mommy Girl.  It is hard to explain to a child about a deployment, it is even harder to watch them when they can not see or touch their parent.  I assure you that this will not take away their pain, however it is something that the parent leaving can give to them, so that they can touch, see, hold, and hug and kiss everyday, so that they know that they will be back.

Hopefully our Deployment Daddy, will not be needed for a while, but if so, my kids know that this little guy will be there to watch everything they do just like Daddy does!